Reason number eleventy billion why I'm a vegetarian

Sure, you jerks and your factory farms can cause my spinach to harbor e. Coli, but at least I won't ever be dealing with escarole's revenge. Though as soon as I ask myself, "Who in their right mind would eat something that would make orange oil shoot out of their ass?" I remember that my mother was largely unfazed by the reports of "anal leakage" from the great Olestra controversey of the late 90s. This is a woman who has (I've witnessed myself) gone for as long as two weeks without a bowel movement. An evacuation of anything from her colon is welcome at times. Perhaps I should tell her to grab a few pounds of this fish at the market. Though she does have a job. Seems to me that having an orangey, oil-stained pants seat could be career-limiting.