Orthorexia

Yes, another post that is not in keeping with the point of my blog. But in case you really want to know what I ate today, I will tell you. A banana, a Gardenburger with lettuce and tomato with a side of Kashi crackers. Then some cookies and then a movie-theater-size box of Raisinets. And then I polished off a bag of Santitas before yoga. It's a slippery slope over to the dark side. My plan to sugar-detox today did not work.

That is despite reading an article yesterday in Radar magazine about orthorexia, a "condition" (though not medically recognized) that essentially means taking an obsession with healthy eating too far (a "fixation on righteous eating"). For orthorexics, the point of eating becomes less about enjoying food, curbing hunger or getting nutrition and more about purifying the body (and avoiding more and more foods that are deemed impure). I found a handy-dandy little quiz created by the doctor who coined the term just over a decade ago. Dr. Bratman asks (and I answer) these questions:

Orthorexia Self-Test

Each "yes" answer scores one point.

1. Do you spend more than three hours a day thinking about healthy food? (For four hours, give yourself two points.)
I spend most of every day thinking about food, only about half of which is healthy. I probably spend three hours a day trying to figure out how to enjoy healthy food by reading a bunch of food blogs. (1/2 pt)

2. Do you plan tomorrow's food today?
Most of the time. Don't most people? I mean, otherwise, I'd be going to the market once or twice a day. (1 pt)

3. Do you care more about the virtue of what you eat than the pleasure you receive from eating it?
I think about both at the same time. I rarely eat something that I don't enjoy. That something is called "broccoli." And I'm always trying to think of a way to like it (no pts)

4. Have you found that as the quality of your diet has increased, the quality of your life has correspondingly diminished?
No way. I don't miss anything. And when I eat junk food, I feel physically bad (the Great Frito Fiasco of 2002 will ensure that I never touch one of those things ever again). (no pts)

5. Do you keep getting stricter with yourself?
Yes, because the more I learn about what I eat, the more I want to improve my diet. I wish more people would think that way. (1 pt)

6. Do you sacrifice experiences you once enjoyed to eat the food you believe is right?
I suffer more from not being able to get on roller coasters due to a neck injury than I suffer by not eating corn dogs and fatty tuna. But I miss really good sushi sometimes. (1/2 pt)

7. Do you feel an increased sense of self-esteem when you are eating healthy food? Do you look down on others who don't?
Yes. I try to keep it to myself, but I know that sometimes, my disdain is difficult to hide when I see what kind of junk other people put in their bodies. (1 pt)

8. Do you feel guilt or self-loathing when you stray from your diet?
More like I feel like a dumbass when I carb out and then crash or have some other ill health effect. (1/2 pt)

9. Does your diet socially isolate you?
Ha! Given that I live in the south, I'd say probably so. (1 pt)

10. When you are eating the way you are supposed to, do you feel a peaceful sense of total control?
Yes, somewhat. But I think that it's more about the satisfaction of creating something good and good for me and being able to share it more than a direct sense of "if I eat this, then I will feel this way." (no pts)

5 1/2 points.

"If you answer yes to two or three of these questions, you have at least a touch of orthorexia. A score of four or more means that you are in trouble," according to Dr. Bratman. "And if all these statements apply to you, you really need help. You don't have a life--you have a menu." Or you have a food blog.

Addendum: During my research, I came across a very interesting blog: Every Woman Has an Eating Disorder. Very interesting read. I think a lot of women out there can think of at least one way they have an unhealthy relationship with food or some event in their life that caused some food-related trauma. For me, I remember my mother making me weigh my portions of snacks on a Weight Watchers scale when I was nine. Ice cream and chips and stuff. In retrospect, she would have been better off giving me better options for snacks, but she felt like she'd be denying me of some childhood privilege if she didn't keep chips and Twinkies and Little Debbies and ice cream around the house. Maybe she's right, but dang, I was hungry. Yes, I was fat, but I was growing. I also very distinctly remember her keeping a notebook with her at all times where she logged her caloric intake and weight every day. And I know she thought she was fat at 5'4" and 122 pounds. I inherited some issues. I know I'm not the only one.