A tale of two failures

A Tale of Kale

I'd read several posts about kale chips and how wonderful they are, so when I saw some nice-looking kale at the farmers market, I bought a bag.

I was a bit apprehensive; I don't like cooked greens much at all. I'll eat chard if someone more qualified than I am prepares it, but even slightly warm spinach makes me gag. But the raves!

So I washed it, tore it into bite-size chunks and towel-dried each individual piece (note: would have been easier to dry and then tear apart). I tossed it with a little olive oil and placed a baking sheet full of it in my 350° oven. I checked it at 12 minutes. Not crispy yet. And at 14 minutes. Nope. And then at 16 minutes. Crispy! So I pulled it out salted it lightly and waited a minute for it to cool. I was going to eat healthy cooked greens that taste good!

Ha ha, no. After all that, I discovered that these cooked dark greens still tasted like cooked dark greens even when they're crispy and salty. In other words, yuck. If you like kale or if you have a lot of it you just really need to use and eat, then by all means, go on ahead and make you some kale chips. But I don't. This batch of kale chips when right into the compost. Not even Mr. Eats--who is not terribly picky--didn't care for them.

A Tale of Bread
In preparation for a trip back home to Memphis, I started the dough for some no-knead bread to take to my mother (she loves it). I know the recipe by heart. I made it up and the following day, poured it out on my generously-floured towel to fold a couple of times. But it was a wet, soggy mess. Huh? Did I forget the third cup of flour? I kept adding more flour and kneading the dough in hopes of salvaging it. I got it to the consistency I was familiar with and set it aside to rise again. Two hours later, no. So I made a new batch. The following day, it looked great, but I poured it out and it was again a soggy mess.

Have I forgotten how to read? Count? Sure, we were in the midst of several days of nasty, relentless rain, but I'd never read any notes about this dough being picky about humidity. But it was if the water was multiplying in the mix instead of the air. I tried my best with it but again, it would not rise an appreciable amount on the second rise. I cooked it anyway and it came out like a giant, hard focaccia (which I have unintentionally made before). The yeast is not bad. I can only assume that this bread is just not meant to be made when the air is thick with water. Which--here in Nashville--means I may not be making this bread again until October.

And so today, as I look outside at yet another day of rain I wonder what to make in my kitchen. Something that is supposed to be wet, that's for sure. Soup.